This is real, p.1
This is Real, page 1
Table of Contents
Title Page
COPYRIGHT
This Is Real
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
Epilogue
About the Author
THIS IS REAL
Barbara Elsborg
COPYRIGHT
This Is Real is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2022 by Barbara Elsborg
Cover design by B4Jay
Edited by Deco
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or transmitted in any manner without written permission from Barbara Elsborg, except for brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For all enquiries, please contact Barbara Elsborg at bjelsborg@gmail.com
Image/art disclaimer: Licensed material is being used for illustrative purposes only. Any person depicted in the licensed material is a model.
This Is Real
A snarky English nerd. A hot American actor. When Christmas brings them together, they have more in common than they know…
Murdo doesn’t do Christmas, but this year, he’s looking forward to spending time with an old friend. Elodie’s working on a film starring Murdo’s Biggest Crush, the gorgeous Lukas Olsen. When Elodie asks him to give Lukas a lift from Logan International, Murdo can’t believe his luck. Lukas might be straight, but ogling’s acceptable—right?
Lukas arrives at the airport to find a gaggle of fans but no driver waiting and when he does turn up, the snarky Englishman can’t even remember where he’s parked. When they finally reach their destination, Lukas tries to tip him and Murdo makes his current opinion of Lukas very clear. His crush is over.
Things move from bad to worse when Murdo tells the director that Lukas’s English accent isn’t authentic. But a pang of guilt, and maybe a remnant of lust, has Murdo offering to give dialect lessons to a resentful Lukas. Only once they’re in Lukas’s house, annoyance turns into something far more dangerous, because Lukas isn’t out and never will be. He has too much to lose: career, fans, family and friends.
Yet something about Murdo makes Lukas want to risk it all…
1
Murdo quietly crooned ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ as he danced between his bed and a chest of drawers. Any louder and he’d piss off Mrs. Levine who lived in the apartment next to his and had the amazing ability of being able to hear him breathe. Too loudly, obviously. When she saw him, she was always ready with a complaint. Yesterday it had been his electric toothbrush disturbing her. Murdo had this image of her sitting with her ear to the wall waiting for a reason to knock on his door. Well, he was away for a week, maybe more, so at least he’d be spared those encounters, as well as being removed from the temptation to fling open his door with just a towel wrapped around his hips.
His ski gear was in its own bag, and he was only packing a small suitcase on the basis that he could either get his stuff laundered or buy extra if he stayed away longer than the week he’d planned. His accommodation was booked for the next two nights, and he’d wing it after that. Snow chains had been purchased—just in case, the first part of his route planned, and in less than four hours he should be at the Quality Comfort Inn in Ancatch, New Hampshire, with its promised outdoor hot tub and fabulous mountain views. He couldn’t wait.
Murdo’s marking was done, his lectures prepared for the first two weeks of the spring term, and the only work he needed to do was occasionally check his emails in case a student was having a meltdown. He was enjoying his job as a maths—or math as he was still trying to remember to say to any American—lecturer at Harvard… Harvard! He still couldn’t even think of Harvard without gulping. Though he wasn’t sure how long he’d stay. The pay was okay but not brilliant, and although money wasn’t everything, there wasn’t much you could do without it, and a lot you could do with it.
More importantly, even after moving all the way to another country in the hope of a fresh start, after five months here, Murdo still felt unsettled. To be fair, it was the same unsettled feeling that he’d had for as long as he could remember, as if he was looking for something without knowing exactly what that something was and feeling on edge because he’d not found it. Something or somewhere or someone? All three?
Murdo called it his Greener Grass Syndrome. One that he’d brought on himself because things had to feel right. He’d had a few someones who’d turned into boyfriends, though none had ended up being the right someone for him. Or rather, they’d spotted greener grass elsewhere. Being dumped by everyone he’d been with had dented Murdo’s delicately balanced confidence, the seesaw on which he persistently wobbled. Because you’re not good enough said that familiar voice in his head. Yes, I am Murdo said back.
A lecturer at Harvard and he still heard himself being called useless. When was he going to shake that off? Never chimed his other self.
Oh bugger off.
He slung his messenger bag over one shoulder and his bag of ski gear over the other. One last glance around his studio apartment for smoldering fires, dripping taps, a magic portal to another world…before he carried rather than rolled his case out of the door. See, Mrs. Levine? He was being courteous. He headed down to the street. His car was parked underground a few blocks from where he lived. In a way, the vehicle had been a waste of money because he didn’t drive to work, but he liked to go exploring at the weekends and having a car made that easier.
His phone rang as he was walking to the garage. Elodie. He hoped she wasn’t going to tell him not to come, that there’d been a change of plan, because he was so looking forward to this.
“Hi, Elodie.”
“Hi, sweetie. Where are you?”
“Just about to set off.”
“Oh great, I’ve caught you in time. Can you do me a huge favor?”
“God, why don’t I like the sound of that? Is it going to get me into trouble like nearly all the other huge favors you’ve asked?”
She laughed. “Not this time. You’re going to thank me for asking you to do this. Maybe freak out first though.”
“Right. What do you need me to do?”
“Pick Lukas Olsen up from Logan and drive him here to his hotel.”
Murdo gulped. Christ Almighty!
Elodie laughed. “I heard that gulp.”
“Oh my God, Elodie. That wasn’t a gulp, it was me hyperventilating. I thought I might catch a glimpse of him on set, not sit next to him for twenty-four hours.”
“It isn’t going to take you twenty-four hours to get here, idiot.”
“It might if we get caught in the snow and have to spend the night in a motel where there’s only one room and we have to share a bed. Oh dear, it’s a really bad snow storm. Might be more than twenty-four hours.”
She snickered. “Hello, Hallmark movie.”
“Forced proximity has me every time. You know I have The Biggest Crush on him.”
“And you know he isn’t gay.”
“I can still have a crush. How am I going to sit next to him and not get a hard-on?” That was exactly what was going to happen. “God, Elodie, I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can. You’re only coming up to see me because you wanted to see him.”
“Not true.”
“Is your nose growing, Pinocchio?”
“I’m coming to see you! But okay, yes, I was hoping to quietly drool over him, but not when he was sitting next to me. I’ll be a mess. He’ll think I’m a rabid dog and I’ll say something inappropriate like can I sit on your dick?”
She laughed. “I know you won’t. You’ll be polite and courteous and very British and you won’t drool or flirt. Please Murdo, otherwise I’ll have to send a driver and you’re already in Boston and heading here anyway.”
“Fine.”
“He’s landing just after ten. I’ll text you the details.”
“Ten? Right, that’s—”
“Thanks so much, Murdo. Dinner’s on me tonight. See you later.”
She’d gone before he had the chance to say he might be late getting to the airport. It was nine fifteen already. He sighed and kept walking. Lukas Olsen. Murdo swallowed hard. He had to admit, when Elodie had invited him to spend a couple of days on the film set, the cherry on the very tempting cake had been the presence of Lukas Olsen. Murdo had assumed all he’d be able to do was ogle from a distance. Now he’d be in a car with him for four hours. Complete and utter heaven or an awkward-as-shit journey with Murdo constantly attempting to hide how sexy he found the guy?
What were they going to talk about? How gorgeous Lukas was? How much Murdo loved his films? Loved him? Scratch that. What a fan Murdo was of the film industry in general? Maths? Math? Murdo groaned. Note to self! Don’t talk too much! Especially about maths. Math. You usually do, particularly when you’re nervous. You’re not too much of a weirdo. He’ll like you.
Why are you even worrying what he thinks? chimed his alter ego. As if he’d have any interest in someone like you.
Thank you for that reminder.
Lukas was mouthwater ingly good looking. Dark hair, eyes as blue as the hot springs in Yellowstone, sculptured cheek bones, tall and lean, and he moved with a languid grace that made Murdo—No, you’re not allowed to drool. The guy was chiseled but not bulky—Murdo had seen his abs on screen—a lot—rewind, rewind, rewind. As well as that dark treasure trail. More rewinding. And occasionally Murdo had put a hand down his sweatpants. Lukas had a very sexy smile, the sort of quirky grin that made Murdo’s heart twang every time he saw him in a film, along with exciting another part of him.
Sadly, Lukas was not on the available list. Not that he’d ever have been available for Murdo. The guy had been linked to a couple of A-list actresses, a model or two, and always had a woman on his arm in any publicity shots Murdo had seen. So definitely straight. And since Murdo had no faith in the reality of the gay-for-you romance trope, Lukas was untouchable, unobtainable, irreversibly heterosexual, and there was no point thinking, wanting or longing for it to be otherwise. Murdo hoped Lukas made up for that terrible character flaw by being a nice guy or it was going to be a long journey.
He put his bags in the trunk and climbed into his car. Elodie’s text came through while he was putting the airport details into his satnav. Logan was only about twelve miles away, but everything worked to delay him: traffic, traffic lights, idiot drivers, reckless pedestrians, a low-flying cardinal bird that nearly came to a sticky end, then getting pipped to a space in the terminal parking lot that had clearly been his. He had to restrain himself from sounding his horn and giving the smug driver a piece of his mind because…guns… It wasn’t worth the risk.
After he’d finally parked, seemingly as far away from the terminal as he could possibly get, he ran across the parking lot and nearly got knocked down. He mouthed his apology to the white-faced driver and pressed the button on the elevator. By the time he headed into the building, it was almost an hour since Lukas would have landed.
The moment Murdo walked inside, he spotted a crowd of women holding up selfie sticks. Lukas had his back to the wall like a cornered deer, though he was smiling and chatting. Oh God. How was it fair this guy was straight? He was just so sexy and elegant and… To Murdo’s horror, his cock began to swell. Bad timing, pal! Luckily, his coat was long enough to hide the bulge in his jeans.
Despite being late, he still took a moment to stare. Holy shit. This was like every sexual fantasy come to life. The guy was even better-looking in the flesh, and all that awareness did was depress Murdo further because it reminded him that he’d never attract anyone like this.
Looks are less important than what’s inside.
Yeah, right, that might well be true, but unless Murdo felt some physical attraction, he had no interest in pursuing a relationship. Yes, I’m shallow. I can’t help it. Shallow and picky and nerdy, which was why he was single and would likely die single because anyone who looked at him or listened to him was not going to think, it’s what’s inside that counts.
Lukas was even taller than Murdo had thought he was, or maybe it was the women who were short and made him look taller. His dark hair was just the right side of scruffy, and that smiling mouth should definitely have a warning label. Murdo found himself licking his lips. Four hours in the car with him was going to be excruciatingly painful, though Murdo’s future night-time fantasies had been fed a hefty dose of sexy fertilizer. He can be gay in my head. Gay for me. It worked.
Murdo suddenly realized Lukas was looking at him. Not just looking but giving him get over here looks. Not ones that made Murdo’s heart sing, ones that said What the fuck are you waiting for? Get over here right now. Lukas was pissed. Christ! How long have I been standing staring? Murdo headed over. The guy was still smiling as he talked to the women, but Murdo had definitely caught a flash of irritation aimed straight at him.
“Mr. Olsen? I’m here to collect you,” Murdo called over the backs of the women who surrounded the star like fish in a feeding frenzy, all wedged tightly together, taking a picture, or asking for a selfie, then sliding back to let someone else get close. Actually, it was fascinating and Murdo was thinking about the mathematics of it when Lukas coughed loudly.
“About time. Where’ve you been?” Lukas snapped.
Well, fuck you. How did the guy manage to smile and still snap and look pissed off at the same time? Murdo kept the half-smile on his face, but didn’t answer him.
“Sorry, ladies, my chauffeur’s turned up—at long last.”
The sea of women parted as Lukas moved forward, then gathered together again behind him. That was quite a talent. Lukas held out his bag to Murdo. Like a fool, Murdo took it. Furious with himself, and knowing how bad it would look if he just dropped it, he turned and stomped off with it.
Lukas caught up with him just outside, minus his posse, Murdo noticed.
“Where’s the car?” Lukas asked.
“Car park. Parking lot.” Murdo was trying to speak American.
“Not at the curb?”
I just told you it wasn’t. “It’s not allowed.”
“Yet people are getting picked up right in front of us. At the curb.”
“Yes, but the signs say don’t leave your car unattended and since I’m on my own, and I didn’t have your number to call and ask you to come outside, I had no choice but to park.”
“So you’re English. Here for the holidays?”
“Oh, my goodness, what could possibly have given that away?” Murdo muttered in his poshest accent.
“The stick up your ass?”
What had he said to deserve that? Ah, my sarcasm. Not lost on this American then.
“Sorry. I’m tired,” Lukas said.
Cue instant forgiveness. After all, Murdo had been late and the guy had been forced to cope with his adoring fans (The only reason he was a star. Don’t tell him that!) for close to an hour.
Murdo went up to the pay station and slid in his credit card. At least it hadn’t cost him a fortune to park. He turned to head into the ocean of cars and his heart sank. Oh shit. He always double checked the zone where he parked, but he’d been frazzled by that guy slipping into the space he’d been waiting for, then in such a rush… Fuck.
“Which way?” There was irritation in Lukas’s voice.
Murdo set off in what he was pretty sure was the right direction, then pressed the fob to open the trunk, scanning from side to side only to see one raise and wave at him. Please don’t let anyone steal my stuff before I get there. Except as he was leading Lukas to it, Murdo registered it wasn’t his car. He slowed down and pressed his fob again.
“Can’t you remember where you parked? What sort of driver are you?”
The guy’s incredulity pissed Murdo off. But as he turned to snap at him, he spotted his vehicle a couple of rows away and said instead, “Of course I can remember where I parked.” Thank you, God!
He put Lukas’s bag in the trunk, closed it and saw the guy standing by a rear door. Was he waiting for him to open it? What an up-his-own-arse…arsehole!
“This is your car?”
What was wrong with it? “Not shiny enough?” It wasn’t. “Not new enough?” That was true too. “Too many dents?” There were a few. “Would you like me to try and open a different one? If we look around, we’ll probably find a limo that’s more to your liking. Bar and hot tub in the back? Along with a leggy supermodel?”
That won Murdo an horrendous glare.
He took a deep breath. Why am I being so snarky? There was no reason to upset the guy. Murdo had no idea what was going on in Lukas’s head. Everyone had issues and problems of one sort or another. Lukas had said he was tired. Be nice. They were going to be stuck with each other for at least four hours. Elodie wouldn’t be pleased if one of her stars arrived in a temper because of him. “Do you want to sit in the front or the back…or in the trunk?”
Murdo hadn’t meant to voice that last part but Lukas sighed. “Where would you like me to sit?”
“Wherever you like.” Murdo got in, threw his coat in the back and slammed the door.
He was surprised when Lukas sat beside him, tossing his coat on top of Murdo’s. Don’t be jealous of a coat. Oh, but I am. I really am. Murdo entered the directions for Ancatch into the satnav and set off.
