Tattered, p.12
Tattered, page 12
“Hi,” Thea whispered. She was leaning against the wall outside Charlie’s door.
“Hi. What are you doing?”
“Just listening.” She motioned for me to follow as she led the way downstairs and through the house to the porch.
“When’s Hazel coming home from the fair?” I asked.
“I’m sure it will be late. There was a band playing that she wanted to see, so she and a couple of friends are there for the concert.”
I paused when we got outside, expecting Thea to sit in one of the mismatched chairs. But she kept going, down the stairs and over the grass. I stayed close as she crossed the lawn and continued down the old dock that stretched over the lakeshore.
She padded all the way to the end, past the spot Charlie had left her fishing pole from earlier. She slipped off her flip-flops and sat on the dock’s edge, dangling her toes into the water.
I’d been wearing flip-flops all week myself. My wingtips had felt too stuffy for Lark Cove. So I shuffled off my shoes too and sat in the space by Thea’s side.
We sat quietly for a while, both of us just staring out at the lake. It was a calm night, the water gently rolling in glassy mounds.
“I hate leaving her,” I whispered.
“But you have to.”
“I do.” I had overdue responsibilities waiting for me at home. “But I’ll be back.”
Thea stiffened.
The water was cold on my toes, my skin practically white beneath the surface, but not nearly as icy as the shoulder at my side.
What could I say that would convince Thea I’d be back? That I wouldn’t abandon Charlie? Or her?
Nothing.
My words wouldn’t mean anything to Thea. I’d have to prove it. I’d crush Thea’s doubts by coming back and showing her that Charlie was a priority.
“I’ll be back, Thea.” I inched closer, brushing my jeans against hers. “I promise.”
With the hand between us, I held out my pinky. She looked at it for a minute before curling her own around mine. The moment we touched, a shiver rolled down her spine. The heat between us flared, thawing her a bit.
She’d been trying to keep her distance and block me out, but her body betrayed her silence.
Thea said so much without words. She could make the best fuck off face I’d ever seen. When she was behind the bar, she held her shoulders and walked with a surety that made her the most powerful person in the room. But it was her softer movements, the subtle ones that most people missed, that made me want to pull her into my arms and hold her tight.
I loved the way her neck would tilt to the right whenever she talked about Charlie or Hazel. She’d take a long breath whenever I was close because she liked my cologne. I loved the times when I’d catch her studying me and she wouldn’t look away.
Like now, with our pinkies locked. She held my gaze without wavering.
Soon she’d see.
I wasn’t just coming back for Charlie, but for her too.
Thea stirred feelings deeper than I’d ever had for another woman, and we’d only been together for a week. I’d prove to them both that I was a new constant. They’d see that I was the missing piece to their family.
Then maybe one day soon, we could actually be a family. I could sweep them both away from here and build them the life of their dreams.
He’d left.
I’d known it would happen, but that hadn’t made it any easier.
Logan had come here and made us fall in love with him—just a little—and then he’d left.
It had been two weeks since he’d sat with me on the dock and promised to return. It had taken all fourteen days for Charlie to finally get back to herself again.
As I’d expected, the day Logan had flown to New York had been the hardest. She’d been sad and quiet all day, basically sequestering herself to her room. She hadn’t even wanted to play in her fort.
I’d known that day would be rough.
What I hadn’t expected was for her sullen attitude and sad eyes to last so long. She did okay during the day, but every evening, after Logan would call, she’d get this lost look on her face that not even her favorite bedtime stories could erase.
She missed him. And like me, she feared he wouldn’t keep his promise and be here for her birthday.
My childhood had been full of disappointment. I didn’t want that for Charlie. I didn’t want her to know that people let you down more often than not and that counting on others was usually pointless.
She didn’t need to learn those lessons quite yet. I wanted her to grow up happy and face life’s hard truths when she was older. When she was more equipped to handle heartbreak.
“That’s a serious look on your face.”
I looked over my shoulder at Hazel as she stepped out onto the porch. “Just thinking.”
“About Logan?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “He missed his phone call with her tonight.”
“Shit.” Hazel lit a cigarette.
It was the first time since he’d left that he hadn’t called before bedtime. I’d decided to just call him, but he hadn’t answered my calls or texts. I’d made an excuse for Charlie’s sake, but it hadn’t helped. As I’d tucked her into bed, she hadn’t just looked lost.
She’d looked defeated.
Tomorrow was her birthday and though Logan had promised to be here, he hadn’t once mentioned his travel plans.
“If he doesn’t show tomorrow, she’ll be crushed.”
And Jackson would be right.
His warning had been a constant plague in my mind these last two weeks. To Jackson’s credit, he hadn’t brought it up again. He’d actually avoided the Logan subject completely. But it was there, a constant niggling at the back of my mind.
If Logan missed this first visit, I had no confidence he’d make it through the first year.
“He could show.” Hazel blew out a stream of smoke. “Let’s not count him out yet.”
“I don’t know. He’s been different since he left.”
“Some people don’t like to talk on the phone.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that. He’s all over the place. Some nights, he’s distracted and I can hear things in the background. Others, he’s almost cold, like he couldn’t get us off the phone fast enough.”
He’d either been in meetings or he’d been with someone. A female someone.
The fact that I hadn’t kissed Logan or had sex with him was a huge relief. I had no interest in being his Montana piece on the side while his girlfriend lived oblivious in New York.
“I wish he had never promised her that he’d be back.”
Hazel’s rough laugh filled the air. “I get why you’re skeptical, but Thea, not everyone will disappoint you.”
“You’re right,” I conceded. “Not everyone.”
But most.
“I—” The chime of my phone cut me off. I picked it up and looked at the screen. “Speak of the devil.” I shook it in the air before accepting Logan’s call. “Hello.”
Please don’t cancel on her birthday. Please. Please.
“Hi. Did I miss Charlie?”
“Yeah. She’s asleep already.”
“Damn it. Sorry.” He sighed. “I had a meeting run long.”
A meeting. “Ohh-kay.”
“Listen, I’ve had a change of plans.”
I knew it. I’d had a sinking feeling all day that this was coming. “I figured.”
“You figured?” he asked. “Figured what?”
“That you wouldn’t be here. Now that you’re back in the city, back to your normal life.” I stood from my wicker chair as I threw his words from weeks ago back at him. “I figured you wouldn’t be able to make good on your promise.”
“Thea—”
“It’s fine. I’ll make your excuses, but I can’t talk to you right now.”
I’d just say something mean. I ended the call and tossed my phone down on the chair.
“Grrr!” I growled through gritted teeth as my hands fisted. “Asshole. Asshole. Asshole!”
“I can’t believe it.” Hazel took another drag, then stubbed out her smoke. “No. No way. There’s no way I pegged him wrong.”
“We both did.”
“Did he say why he can’t come?”
“No,” I huffed and sat back down. “I hung up before he could really piss me off.”
“So you didn’t let him explain?”
“No. Why would I?” I quirked an eyebrow. “He’s not coming. Charlie will be devastated, and the next time I see him, I’m going to punch him in the throat.”
She frowned and crossed the porch. “Don’t twist your ankle jumping to conclusions.”
My mouth dropped open as she disappeared inside the house.
Hazel hadn’t scolded me in years, but at that moment, I felt more like a teenager than a thirty-one-year-old woman.
I picked up my phone off the chair and followed her inside, standing next to the kitchen sink as she washed out a glass. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I should have let him explain.”
She shut off the faucet. “When you were a kid, I used to worry so much about you. If someone showed you just a little bit of affection, you’d cling to them for dear life. You were desperate for love, even though most of those people didn’t give a shit about you.”
It had taken me years of being used by others to stop trusting so easily.
“And then you came here and had Charlie,” she said. “It was like you flipped the switch. You didn’t need other people anymore because you had her. If anyone tries to get close, you cut them off before they have a chance.”
“I’m close to people. What about Jackson?”
She scoffed. “He’s more closed off than you. You didn’t let him in, sweetheart, he let you in.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. I had friends, didn’t I? There were Ronny and Wayne, two of the regulars from the bar. I saw them almost every day. And I talked to some of the moms on Charlie’s soccer team whenever there was a game or practice. “I’m friends with Willa.”
“You’re friends, but not close. She comes into the bar and you talk to her. When was the last time you did something with a friend outside of the bar? When was the last time you went on a date?”
She had me there. I hadn’t been on a date since I’d lived in New York. It wasn’t that I hadn’t been asked. There were guys who came into the bar all the time and hit on me and asked to take me out. But I didn’t want to date. I was perfectly content coming home each night to Charlie.
“I don’t want to date.”
Hazel laughed. “Yes, you do. But what scares you is that the man you want to date is Logan.”
I hated how she was always right. “It’s just asking for trouble. If it ended badly, it could hurt us all.”
“It could.” She nodded. “Or it could be the best thing in the world for you and for Charlie. If it were me, I’d take that risk if it meant my baby girl could have a real shot at having her parents together. And given your upbringing, you of all people should be the first person willing to take that risk.”
Again, she was right. I closed my eyes, pushing out a long breath. “I just wish he had shown up for her birthday.”
“So do I. But I’m betting he’s got a damn good reason for not being here.”
“We’ll see.” I shrugged. “Would you care if I went for a quick walk? I’m still kind of mad and I want to burn off some steam before I call him back.”
“Go.” She waved me to the door. “Take as much time as you need. I’ve got Charlie.”
I smiled at her, then escaped outside. Normally, when I needed to get my head together, the first place I ran was my workshop. But tonight, I needed to move. To burn off my anger on the pavement.
After an hour of flip-flopping up and down the quiet side streets of Lark Cove, I was heading home along the highway.
My frustration with Logan had fizzled over the last hour. I tried to see things from his perspective. A month ago, he’d had no idea Charlie even existed. It might take him time to adjust his schedule so it could include her.
He just needed to learn not to make false promises.
I’d drill that into his gorgeous head until it stuck.
The sun had set and its lasting glow had nearly faded as I strolled. I’d been meandering down Lark Cove’s quiet side roads and had planned to take the same route back to the cottage. But as I passed the turn down a side street, a shiver rolled over my shoulders.
It was that feeling again. Someone was watching me.
I slowed my pace, looking all around, but I couldn’t see anyone. All of the homes around were silent. People were all inside for the night.
The shiver came again and the side street I’d wanted to stroll now seemed unappealing. So I picked up my pace, walking fast back to the highway. Once I reached it, the feeling was gone. You’re losing it, Thea. It had probably just been someone watching me from their window, wondering what I was doing out in front of their house alone at night.
So I relaxed my stride again, taking in the bar’s red and yellow neon sign a couple blocks down. It was supposed to be my night to work, but with Charlie’s birthday, Jackson had volunteered to trade. Besides the bar, the only other sign lit along the highway was the motel’s. It buzzed as I walked past. All the other businesses in town were closed at this hour.
The motel’s parking lot was full for a change. I’d heard through the grapevine that the Walters family was having a reunion this weekend.
I was scanning the license plates—Oregon, Idaho, Washington—when I saw a man standing at the vending machine with his back to me. I kept walking but did a double take as he ran his hand through his hair.
His hair looked a lot like my daughter’s.
The man punched a button and bent to get a bottle of water. When he turned around, I skidded to a stop.
Logan.
My heart nearly burst.
I immediately changed direction, rushing to catch up to him. His long legs ate up the sidewalk that ran along the doors to each of the rooms. He went straight to his room, unlocking the door and pushing inside. It had almost swung closed, but I managed to slap my hand on the door’s face.
Logan spun around, glaring until he saw it was me.
“You’re here?” My voice was breathy, both from racing across the parking lot and from the shock of seeing Logan in Lark Cove.
He nodded and planted his hands on his hips. “I just got in.”
“So when you called—”
“My jet had just landed.”
“Oh.” I cringed. The asshole here was me, not Logan.
“I promised you and Charlie I would be here, Thea,” he snapped, coming right into my space. “But I’m glad to see you have so much faith in me.”
“I’m sorry. I just . . .” I just fucked up. That’s what I’d done. “I have a hard time trusting people. I’m working on it, but people have a habit of letting me down.”
“I. Won’t.”
Two simple words said with so much conviction, they sank into my bones.
His chest was inches from my face, its heat chasing away the chill of the night air. He took my free hand and tugged me forward until the door swung closed at my back.
“You came back,” I whispered.
“I told you I would.”
I met his gaze. “Can we play a hundred questions?”
He’d asked for a hundred questions instead of twenty that first night in my workshop. I didn’t need a hundred, at least not tonight. Really, I just needed one.
“Ask away.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” I blurted.
He grinned. “That’s your first question? I like it. And no. I don’t have a girlfriend or any romantic attachment outside the Lark Cove town limits.”
The answer was barely past his lips before I attacked him. I stood on my tiptoes and flung my arms around his neck, capturing his mouth with mine.
Logan’s mouth split into a grin before he tilted his head and took over. His tongue swept into my mouth, stroking against my own as his lips moved over mine.
This kiss. Oh my god, this kiss. I hadn’t been kissed in so long, and Logan knew how to do it right. I clung to his shoulders, pulling myself closer.
His body pressed hard against mine, his hands running up and down in a frenzy. He came at me with the same intensity I threw at him, pushing me backward until I was against the door.
With something to keep me steady, I lifted even higher on my toes, practically climbing him. The pulsing in my core echoed through my body.
“Logan,” I moaned into his mouth.
He answered by grinding his hard cock into my stomach, making the ache even worse.
I tugged on the sides of his cotton dress shirt, yanking the green hem from his jeans. As soon as it was free, my fingers dove for his belt buckle, fumbling before setting it free.
While I scrambled to undress him, Logan did the same to me. He twisted and turned the button on my jean shorts, ripping the zipper open so they hung on my hips. Then one hand dove right into my lace panties, and his middle finger immediately found my swollen clit.
I cried out into his mouth as my body went slack. It had been so long since a man had touched me, but then again, no man had ever touched me the way Logan did. I tipped my hips, wanting more friction from his circling finger, but he slid his hand free.
I whimpered, making him smile against my lips. His hands gripped the sides of my gray T-shirt and yanked it over my head.
“Clothes off,” he panted as his lips broke away from mine and traveled down my neck. His hands came to my breasts, cupping and kneading them through my bra.
My hands went back to his jeans, tugging until I had the button free. Then I slid down the zipper that strained against his cock.
He wasn’t wearing underwear.
My sex clenched, spasming to a near orgasm as I took him in my palm. I stroked his silken flesh, squeezing it tight in my small fist as Logan’s hands left my breasts and shoved my shorts and panties down my legs.
In a split second, my bra was gone. Then Logan’s mouth covered a nipple, sucking it into his mouth as he rolled it with his tongue.
