Never look back, p.26
Never Look Back, page 26
What the hell was he doing to me?
He strode for the bathroom, so freaking tall and wearing nothing but his underwear, his shoulders wide and his back rippling with taut, packed muscle. His ass was round and perfect, and I was sure this man was set on complete annihilation.
He glanced back at me from the doorway. “And don’t even think about taking off, Aster. There’s no use in hiding from me. I’ll just come and find you.”
“But what if I get you into trouble?” Old murmurings rocked loose, a tease and our heart’s greatest secret.
Pure devotion was embedded in his smirk. “Do I look like the kind of guy who cares?”
TWENTY-SIX
LOGAN
Tuesday morning, I was in my closet getting ready so I could head into the office. I could hear Aster on the other side of the wall, moving around in the kitchen.
It brought a wistful smile to my mouth because I had to wonder if maybe I just felt her.
The energy that rippled through the air.
A soft, lulling whisper that tremored along the floors and climbed into my spirit.
I got the sense that I’d sank into who she was and had become a part of her being.
But it’d always been that way with us.
Held by an attraction that pulled and pressed and compelled.
A gravity that neither of us could resist.
Three days had passed since I’d dragged her into my room, and I hadn’t let her go since.
During that time, I’d reminded her again and again that she was precious. A fucking treasure, but she still hadn’t quite accepted what that meant.
Each night, I held her in her sleep. Held her through her fitful dreams that incited a fury inside me that I could barely keep restrained.
A fury that one day I would unleash on the monster who had the girl a prisoner to the type of nightmares I still didn’t understand.
Where she’d sweat and whimper and beg to be set free.
I’d whisper in her ear that it was going to be alright. That I’d die before I let anyone get to her.
I knew that was part of her dread, too.
She believed her being here put me in danger.
It did.
I wasn’t a fool.
It was a calculated risk.
And she was worth any cost.
I strode back through the bathroom and grabbed my suit jacket from where I had it draped on the back of a chair, and I headed out the door.
I slammed right into her presence.
Aster was barefoot by the island, slathering butter over a piece of toast. Her hair wild and pulled into a reckless knot on her head. A black sweatshirt draped off one delicious shoulder, and she wore these tight leggings that made her ass look juicy and ripe.
A growl got free.
I wanted to devour her.
Take her.
Hold her.
Keep her.
She felt me staring, the way she took a cautious peek my way and the sweet, bashful smile tweaked at the edge of her gorgeous mouth.
“Holy shit. I must have died and went to heaven because there’s an angel in my kitchen.”
I gave her the cheesiest line I could find because I wanted to see the blush rise to the surface of her skin. I ate up the way she fought the amusement as she stood there shifting on her cute little feet trying to act like I didn’t affect her.
“You think you’re some kind of charmer, huh?” Her teeth raked her bottom lip like she could hold in the giggle.
Fucking loved that sound.
Aster happy.
“The most charming there is. Have you even met me? I mean, I’m so charming, that’s Prince to you.” I let go of the same sort of tease I would have in a group of my favorite people. When I was playing outrageous because outrageous and carefree was the only way to keep myself from taking a swift trip to Los Angeles so I could go on a murder spree.
It was the one city Trent had made me swear an oath never to return to. An oath I’d broken because I’d promised this girl I would always find my way back to her.
I beat down any kind of bitterness that tried to sprout when I thought back to the devastation that return visit had spawned.
The hatred I’d held for years. The hurt. This agony that I’d thought would go on for the rest of my days.
I wondered when looking at her had stopped hurting quite so bad.
When a piece of me understood she’d had little choice, even when the woman was still keeping me protected from the details. But she was going to have to figure out I wanted to hold them all, no matter how ugly they might be.
Trust me, the way I needed to trust her.
Fully.
Wholly.
Without reservation or question.
Fuck, I wanted it. To look at her and never again think of what she’d done.
To never again feel the pain of the blade she’d driven into my back.
Right then, I shunned it all and edged up behind her. I wrapped my arms around her waist like it was the most natural thing in the world.
She leaned against me with a slight laugh, peering back at me from over her shoulder. “Prince, huh? Wow, someone sure thinks a lot of himself.”
I rocked my erection against her ass because if Aster Rose was around, that shit was going to be hard. “Give me a couple minutes, and you’ll be thinking a lot of me, too.”
She giggled again, and I held her, my face pressed to the side of her neck, her face tipped up to mine. I rocked her there for a second, just relishing in the feel of what was always supposed to be.
Her phone pinged on the counter.
She jumped a little before she reached for it and read her text.
“Who is it?”
I’d already seen it, but I held the chuckle that wanted to rumble out.
She lifted her phone, though there was a frown knitting her face.
Tessa: Coffee (okay, fine, mimosas) at O’Malley’s at noon! Half day shenanigans, baby. Your presence is required.
She pushed her phone aside like it might actually be a bomb.
“You don’t want to go?” I rumbled it at her ear. “You don’t need to worry…she’s only half insane.”
Aster almost caught onto the lightness, but I still felt the way she warred.
“What is it?” I asked, urging her closer to me.
I felt her eyes trace the message again, and her heart slugged a missing beat.
“You’re afraid you don’t belong?”
Her head shook. “No, Logan, I’m afraid to get attached.”
So yeah, my spirit soared.
I pressed my mouth to the sweet spot behind her ear, my words low when I told her, “Get attached.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“I think it’s a fantastic idea.”
Stepping away from her, I slung into my jacket and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“I have to go. See you later, honey.” I sent her the biggest smirking grin I could conjure.
Choking out a laugh, she shook her head. “You’re ridiculous.”
I took her by the chin. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be, just as long as you know you are mine.”
Because it was time both of us found a way to move on from the chains that had bound us to our pasts. Time to move on from the separation. Time to move on together.
It was a little before two when I ducked out of my office and wound down the sidewalk in the direction of my favorite coffee shop that was half a block away. I inhaled a deep breath of the frozen, misty air, relaxing so I could let the jumble of numbers unwind where they were twisted in my brain as I strolled down the sidewalk.
I was fucking good at my job, but truth be told, it could be a bit of a drag, especially considering there were so many things I’d rather be doing right then.
Like exploring every inch of Aster’s body. Or hell, just looking at her would do.
Hedge funds and investments and fucking obnoxious clients freaking out if their stocks dipped even the slightest amount after I’d already made them filthy rich had started to grate.
I thrived on the high-risk.
Excelled at the hazardous.
Took chances that paid off big and had my roster stuffed with millionaires who held grandiose ambitions of becoming billionaires.
For years, I’d even delved into the shady, dipping my fingers into places I never should have let them go.
It seemed no matter how much money people had, it was never enough.
It was what had driven me for years because I didn’t see much sense in going after anything else.
Greed.
It was instinct.
It was justice.
It was taking for myself when the world had stolen what should have been mine.
And no, there wasn’t a thing wrong with being comfortable, but there was something about it now that left a bitter taste in my mouth. Or maybe it was the singe of Aster’s fingers when she’d tremble them over the word like it were inked in venom that had left me questioning everything.
The bell rang above me when I tossed open the café door, and the heavy aroma of fresh brew filled my nostrils.
My favorite times were bringing Gage here. We used to come often when I’d taken care of him in the evenings, the two of us a pair, the kid the one single pure thing I’d had in my life. It’d felt like something innocent to share. The one good thing I could give myself to, even if it’d stung.
It felt different today when I stepped inside, though, like so much had gone good, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. It was funny how I always wore a smile, but for the first time in a long-damned time, this one felt real.
I got in line, stepped forward when it was my turn, and tossed a casual hello at Sara whose smile lit up like seeing me was the highlight of her day. “Hey, there, stranger. Where have you been?” Her eyes narrowed in speculation as she took me in. “You look…different.”
That smile filled my face. I guessed it was joy. “I feel different.”
“Yeah?” Then she let go of a self-deprecating laugh as she punched in the same order I’d given her almost every day for the last three years. “Damn. Looks like I should have worked up the courage to ask you out sooner.”
She peeked at me when she said it.
I pressed my card to the reader, a low chuckle riding out. “It probably was best you didn’t.”
“That bad, huh?”
“It was just that good with her.”
She smiled this sweet, shy smile and nodded, like she completely got it. Which was exactly why I never would have touched her in the first place.
“There you go.” She slid the cup my way.
“Thanks, Sara.” I moved over to the counter so I could add some cream and sugar and a dose of that cocoa powder that Gage used to think was pixie dust.
I smiled some more as I sat at a small round table by the window and sipped at my coffee as I watched people meander by in the frosty day, loved that right now Aster was with some of the people who meant the most to me.
Eden, Salem, and Tessa were like sisters. A real kind of family that we’d been lucky to find. How desperately I wanted Aster to be a part of that, too.
I finished off my coffee and stood, tossed the cup into the recycle bin, and stepped out into the flurries that had started to fall. I headed back in the direction of my office, feeling so damned right that I didn’t believe a thing could go wrong.
I slid my key into the lock at the front door of my office. My office manager was off today since her son had a half day at school, so I let myself into the empty waiting area.
I walked through it to my office at the back, and I pushed open the door to the darkened room.
The second I did, I felt it. A foul presence that hovered like a sickness. My pulse spiked, and I was wishing I hadn’t left my gun in its locked case underneath the seat in my car.
I pushed my back up against the wall next to the door and inhaled a steeling breath, my brain calculating the best way to handle this. My hands twisted into fists as I prepared for a fight.
I reached in and flicked on the light, peeked into my office, then stumbled into the doorway as I took in the sight.
Rage crashed against the confines of my chest.
The place was trashed.
My desk was upturned, tossed on its side with all the drawers ripped open and dumped on the floor. Every chair in the room had been thrown in a heap on top of it.
The file cabinets had been ransacked. Papers strewn across the floor.
Three framed pictures had been torn from the walls and smashed on the ground.
My laptop was gone.
But none of that even mattered.
Only one thing did.
Aster.
Blood pounded through my veins. Sloshed and chugged and screamed for vengeance.
I swallowed down the bile that threatened to rise, and I dug my phone from my pocket and dialed Aster’s number, flying back through the front door and out to where I’d parked my car in my reserved spot at the curb.
The whole time, I made that same promise all over again.
I took good care of what was mine.
My precious, perfect star.
And I would never let someone hurt her.
Not ever again.
TWENTY-SEVEN
ASTER
“Oh my god, tell me.” Tessa waved wildly at herself as she tipped her head back and drained the rest of the mimosa from her champagne flute.
They were bottomless.
She’d obviously taken it as a challenge.
Or maybe she thought she was training for an Olympic sport.
God knew it was going to take some acrobatics to get her out of here.
We’d been at this pub for two hours, the group laughing and chatting, catching up. The children were spending the day with Mimi and Gretchen who were taking them to the park.
I took a small sip of my mimosa, this ridiculous redness flushing my cheeks while three pairs of eyes stared back at me in anxious anticipation.
I liked these women.
Too much.
Which was why it was really hard to sit there in their midst and pretend I was normal.
“There’s not much to tell.” There, that would appease them.
Tessa smacked her palm onto the table then pointed at me. “You are the worst liar in all the liars. Do you think I don’t see this right here?”
Tessa leaned over the table and drew a big circle around my face.
Eden hid her laughter behind her soda water.
“And what’s it saying, Tessa?” Salem’s voice was droll, a low teasing with a shake of her head as she took a sip of her hot tea.
“Um, it’s saying our beautiful Aster here has mad, crazy secrets, and they’re really juicy, and it is her duty as our new BFF to dish the deets.”
“I’m not sure how she’s supposed to talk at all when you never stop.” Salem sent me a wry grin as if to let me off the hook.
Tessa pressed her hand over her heart. “Don’t make me kick you out of the Fantastic Foursome.”
Eden groaned. “Fantastic Foursome? Really?”
“Um, hello, the Three Amigos just gained another amigo. This trio is now a quartet. That is unless I have to kick the rude one out.”
Tessa sent Salem a pout.
Salem laughed, her black hair swishing around her shoulders. “I’d rather be rude than nosy.”
“As long as Aster dishes, we’ll be just fine,” Tessa said. “So, let’s hear it. Tell me what it’s like with Logan. Is he wild in the sack, or does he not live up to the hype? Just how big is his dick because I accidentally saw Trent’s once and Oh. My. God.”
That time, I choked on my sip of mimosa. A stream of it dribbled out, and I swiped it with the back of my hand.
“Tessa.” Eden scolded it like she was dealing with an unruly teenager.
“Um, what? Don’t sit over there and act like you’re complaining.”
“If you’re going to hang out with us, you’re going to discover this one has zero filter.” Salem jostled her shoulder into Tessa’s.
“I’m getting the sense…” I drew out.
Tessa’s blue eyes widened as if she’d been wronged. “Inquiring minds, people. Help a girl out.”
“And that help she needs is a direct result of her going without an orgasm for five years. At least one she hasn’t given herself.” Salem quirked a pointed brow.
Tessa gasped in offense. “I do have a boyfriend, you know.”
“Who is the biggest douchebag on the face of the planet, and whatever the size of his dick, it wouldn’t matter because the moron has no clue what to do with it.” Salem leaned toward me when she said it.
Apparently, this was a common topic of conversation.
“Karl’s not that bad.”
“Oh, he is that bad.” Eden’s nose curled in distaste.
“Wow, guys, wow. Where is the love?”
Eden giggled. “We’re only saying this because of the love.”
Tessa’s demeanor shifted. “Then maybe you should support the decision I have to make.”
Half of me felt like an outsider who’d stumbled into a private conversation, the other felt as if this was exactly where I belonged.
As if I’d been destined to be here, too. That North Star guiding me to my special place.
I couldn’t help but be completely invested when Eden reached her hand over the table and took Tessa’s. “I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. We just want better for you. We want you to find someone who deserves the amazing person you are, and that person is not Karl.”
Tessa deflated the smallest amount, and she looked away, out into the booths that were mostly vacant at this time of hour.
“It’s not that simple, and you know it.” She wasn’t looking at anyone when she let the whisper free.
“But fighting for what you need? Going after who and what brings you joy?” Eden squeezed her hand tighter. “You’re right. It might not be simple, but it’s worth it, even if it’s messy.”
